i still hv 10 minutes before balik time. huu this week is my evening shift week. so i get off work at 12 midnite. yea.. i hv it tough.. the work sometimes really tough, really boring. huu but i hv to endure it. this oct 28 is my first anniversary in A****o. come to think of it, this is the first time i stay this long in 1 place. hehe what to do.. i've been bonded. another year to go~~ azra, gambare!!!
hmm it's already october. we're coming to the ending of 2009. woaa time really flies.. many things, yet not much things happened. (err which one is it ady???) hehehe what i meant to say is, quite a lot of things happened. the most significant, the most major thing is, i lost a best friend this year.. it was really painful, i hurt a lot and was depressed for a long 7 months. (tho not the whole 7 months i suffered)
(i ady got home, showered and ready for bed - but i hv this urge to finish my writing. so here we go..)
when i knew i was going to lose my best friend, i was sad and lonely - normal thing. but then, when she was so suddenly gone, like totally gone, whoosh disappeared, i was totally shocked. like really really shocked. i was mad, felt like i was betrayed, frustrated. and thus depressed. after that i joined some outdoor activities, gain new friends, new experiences, and i somehow recovered. i learnt to forgive my now-ex-bestfriend. and i began to relax. this all are thanks to my best friend - Bart. my best girl since like 15 years ago. she gave me moral support and was there for me. really thanks Bart..
so for me, the saying - "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" really serves its purpose. i think i have grown inside. i learnt quite a lot. like i said before, i learnt to forgive her, to forgive myself, to love myself. i stopped being harsh to myself. i used to think that i am a hateful person. like i am the most annoying person on earth, that no one loves me. but really, when i'm in my normal self, i can think clearly. those feelings only came to me when i was really depressed. i thought, every time of the month, i will become a hateful person. but truth is, this month, i dun hv that time of the month. it is time, but none of the negative feelings come to me. you see, i'm totally recovered!! what a great relief.. i hope this stays.. i really hate those times of the month. i want to return being a carefree, cheerful person i once was. only thinking of my anime, manga, novels, living in my own little world. but heck, dream on.. not gonna happen. sighh
but well, the adult me is still ok. i still enjoy myself, tho not everyday is enjoyable, it's still ok. i'm happy with the current me - tho i still have blank spaces in my live. but heck.. i will fill in the blank spaces if i find the missing pieces along my journey. life IS a journey..
