Last night I finished reading this novel by Melissa Hill - Before I Forget. I ended up sleeping at 2am, even though I have to wake up early for work. In result, I woke up at 9am and turned up at the office at 10.15am. Hee hee as long as there is a back up I don't have to worry about being late for work :P

Anyway, this novel is really an interesting piece of work. This is the first Melissa Hill book I've ever read. It was recommended by my little cousin - actually the novel is hers. Ehe. Nowadays I hardly buy any book - except for comic books of course. Ehe. And also Maeve Binchy books. These are my all-time-must-buy books.

Oh back to the book. In the beginning of the story I can't say that I immediately fall in love with the main character, Abby Ryan. She was such a loser.. Her ex was even more of a loser, such a pain in the arse(Caroline's words :P) But after I went on reading, I fall in love with all of it. Little by little Abby returned to her real self before she met the stuck up Kieran. She fought her brain condition, lived her life to the fullest and fell in love with the right man. And they ended up happily ever after. Ehe though in Abby's condition, I don't think it is that simple. There are a lot of hardship they need to be prepared. Like Finn said, for better or for worse. He knew what he was signing up to. Such a sweet lad.. I wonder if there is a person on earth like him. Huu I sure hope I will find a right man for me. Ehem.. Er anyway Abby was blessed.. Though she was tested with such a tragedy, she fell apart, then she picked herself up and continued walking, then was fast running, not running away, but running forward. She was so strong.. But that was because she had such loving family and friends.. Regardless of how she shied away from them when she was being a stuck up self around Kieran. She had a wonderful family, the best bestfriend, and an amazing man who truly loved her. That was how she survived. Though towards the end she was bit by bit returning to her old-depressed-self, but who wouldn't? After knowing her true brain condition, who wouldn't be depressed?? But somehow they worked it out.. Abby and Finn.

[edited] Hehe I sure hope this blog entries would help my writing skills bit by bit. Huhu today at work I created a mess because I misunderstood the word REVOKE. God!!! why din i look it up first? uhhh so malu.. T_T [/edited]

Last weekend I spent my time being home alone. sigh.. I'm becoming more and more of a Himono Onna. Well, (bless) my company, we have a replacement public holiday on Friday (Agong's Birthday) so I actually got a long weekend. but having no money (i'm saving for family trip to cameron this coming weekend. yay!!), thus no plan. plus, most of my friends had their own agenda.. my best friend off to some mountain to climb (oh yes, she loves mountain climbing veeery much). my close friend off to Johor for a her friend's wedding, my housemates off to her hometown, the other off working even on weekend, and so left me home alone, having nothing to do. well, not really nothing. i really appreciate my time alone GIVEN IF a have a laptop with internet, novels and manga. well that makes me happy as it is. huhhh that sounds exactly like a Himono Onna....

huh but my main point in this entry is about Bloody Monday. well, i finished watching this j-dorama online, and it was actually pretty good. well, it is adapted from a manga. though i haven't read the manga before. haha my sister is head over heels for the main character. what's his name.. uh Miura Haruma (hehe i had to wiki) and mameshiba's also on cast. well, overall the drama is pretty good.

*alert from here onwards contain spoiler. read at your own risk. * :D

hehe after finished watching it, i googled a bit and found (of course) negative critics, which is quite true.. like how in early episode minami-san encountered the butterfly guy, she can actually capture him but foolish as it is, she just walked close to the criminal, like giving him a nice chance to disarm her and he got away. well, if it's not like that then of course the drama would have ended in just one episode :P

and also, in the end of the series, it was discovered that the real method the terrorists used to demolish the whole town (or country?) of Russia was in fact was a nuclear bomb, only then the virus. err.. this i dun really get it. 1, why the terrorists went to such trouble, the virus is expensive like hell, and the trouble to get their hands on the anti-virus. and in the end.. they actually use nuclear bomb? really i dun get it. hmm maybe you can say it's for plan B.. backup in case virus attack is to fail. but why in russia they already used the bomb? and the people in the church didn't even flinch when the bomb landed just outside the window. i found this weird...

quite unexpected right?? i din know i fall into this category: extrovert. i tot i'm more of an introvert kind of person. you see, even my zodiak reads me as a "shy, quiet, but can talk well" something like that.

these past few weeks i've been pretty sad and depressed. and i know perfectly well of the reason. which i'm not going to shout out loud. hehe here's a virgo girl for you. last week i read an entry blog titled: "What It’s Like To Date Yourself". and the writer spoke his mind based on his zodiak reading. and the writer is a scorpio. hehe that brings back memories. and he's absolutely right when he said: you'll never forget your scorpion man. but anyway, that's not my real point. i'm not going to talk abt my yesterday, but instead of the present me and the tomorrow me. well, since this is my blog, of course i'm going to talk abt ME. hehe i'm allowed to whine all i want.

after reading the writer's say, i search for a virgo's say. and i found this: Virgo Woman. it's not word by word describing me. but pretty much explaining me. tho many of the fine qualities i dun actually possess.

and today, i read something abt being your own best friend. truth is, last weekend i talked to my best friend on the phone for 3 hours. 3 hours okay... huhu but i dun mind the bill. it's not like i have so many people i have to call every day. apart from my mom, i seldom talk on the phone. i mean real conversation. not that a few minutes call per person, that doesn't count. well, my best friend had mention abt "being your own best friend. there is no one on earth that could be a better friend to you than yourself." and i have to agree with that. all this while, i never really been fair to myself. i never been really good to myself. in fact, i always do/say mean things to myself. i dun even love myself that much. i even love to belittle myself. i'm harsh to myself. and again, i'm not going to spell it out here.

well, when i'm in the right mood (huu you know how virgo possess this great mood swings?? maybe not all virgo, but i do..) i can be really nice and sweet. i can even confidently say that i'm quite a lovable person, that i have a few fine qualities. but when i'm not.. i feel like my head is filled with nothing but hatred. i feel like everybody hates me. that i'm the most annoying person on earth. and i would curl myself at the corner of my dark tiny heart, closing all doors. shutting down everything. i even strongly believe i am not capable to love. but deep down inside, i really want to love, and be loved. [edited] ehe bak kata Dumbledore: "Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love." Dan 1 lagi quote dari Dumbledore: "Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love." Love can create a powerful charm - even Voldemort failed to penetrate.[/edited]

that is why, i need to befriend myself. be my own best friend. dont be afraid to love. with myself, i can freely love, without the fear of getting rejected, hurt, being thrown out in the dump, being unneeded.

but i'm still not sure how to accomplish that. physically, i think i had done quite well.. i took vacation, go to various places, have so much fun all the way, buy things for myself, buy things for people i love. i especially love my car, i love my mike, my still-not-here-patrick. but emotionally and mentally.. i still figuring out how to love and pamper myself, how to truly love my life. when i can love myself, i believe i will be one thousand times happier. consistently happy. when i'm happy, i can make people around me happy. i want to make my every day a happy day all year round.