many things has been going on in my life. hehe that's a good thing tho ;)

i'm currently taking korean classes - preparation for my Korea trip 10 months from now. ohohoho 안녕하세요!!! ngee

it's been 2 weeks and i'm still struggling to read hangul. and a lot of vocab to memorize. but it's fun. hehe. google translator has been my best buddy and i will read raw noblesse manhwa if i ever want to practice reading in korea. uhh tho i dun have that much of free time..

and i've been courting someone. hihi. but this one i still have not much to say so i'll just leave it. ;)

i have a new interest in DIY bags, so i'm nurturing this interest as a new hobby, and hopefully advance in this professionally. it started when i was browsing around looking for a laptop sleeve and i came across this blog selling handmade ones. she's selling many kinds of handmade bags and it interests me. so i browsed and came across some tutorials to start creating DIY bags and last night, i finally put it into action to "test my power" and tried to hand-sew a zippered pouch. well, it turned out just ok, and i had confirmed that i can do this. it will not be an easy path - i never dream of being a seamstress (i seriously can't remember when was the last time i touch a needle). well, i still dunno if i ever will be one, but i do hope i will, at least a part time seamstress who can produce good quality of handmade bags ;)

today, while browsing this and that, i came across this anime review blog (a new one) and this blogger has a review on honey and clover anime. god, i couldn't agree less. he (or maybe she, i dunno..) rated it 5/10. woaa that's so unjust!! i know that's his personal rating, but i dun think that's a good review. i think this genre is just not his (or her) thing. like for me, i dun really like mecha anime - like gundam, and such. but since it's not my thing, i won't watch it or dare to rate it. because i will not be able to give a good review.

sigh.. i love honey and clover so much it upsets me. i know, i'm not being reasonable. people has different views. but honey and clover is (for me and many many other) the best anime in its genre. i have to re-watch it if i want to give a full review, for the last time i watched it was a few years back.

but i can still remember many scenes in it. the most vivid scene is when mayama was piggy-backing ayumi when she was drunk, and she confessed to him, "Mayama, suki". kyaa~~~ i felt it. how mayama had been dreading this very thing - the moment ayumi will tell him how she felt about him, how he should respond to her, it happened, and the way mayama replied "Yeah" over and over, i found the moment was so beautiful yet painful.. for both of them.

hagu is not annoying.. she's awkwardly cute. she's awkward because of how she grew up, having no close friends, only her talents. people can't understand her. the way she grew when she started to make friends with the other 4, is a beautiful thing. the way she sees thing are different from others. i guess that's the way geniuses are..

all in all, honey and clover is a beautiful anime with beautiful characters and story. huh? i end up writing a short review after all.. hehe

i realized that this blog of mine has no entries for anime at all!! and i dare calling myself an average otaku??? huh.. azra, you're getting waaayyy too lazy!! (actually i had friendster's blog loooong time ago and i used to post entries about a few animes i've been crazy about)

as of now, my top anime list are: nodame cantabile, one piece, honey and clover, fullmetal alchemist, oofuri (ookiku furikabutte), k-on!, k-on!! azumanga daioh, hale nochi guu,fruits basket, hikago (hikaru no go), nana, kaicho wa maid sama and the list goes on..

as for manga, the top list are: bleach, one piece, slamdunk, dragonball, yuyu hakusho, beelzebub, oresama teacher, crayon shin chan, and many others.

hm.. i guess that's all for today. i will try my best to post entry to review about more stuff - novels i read, songs i like, anime, manga, j-dorama, k-stuff, and whatsoever. this is for the sake to improve my writing skill ;)

okey, ja mata nee ^^

today is already third of January. and yet here i am, wayyy left out in posting an entry for the occasion. is it because i'm lacking the enthusiasm for celebrating the new year?? nawww... it's because i'm too preoccupied with my new hunny~~ ngeheee his name is kuro-nii. huhu three weeks ago i finally lost kuro-tan.. huhu due to my clumsiness, i lost him.. and only 3 days ago i bought a new phone. hehe i've been in love with this phone ever since kuro-tan showed symptom that's he's going to fail me.. and i named him kuro-nii (black no 2). hehe this new black is way sleekier than kuro-tan. hehe the down side is i can't set my fav song as its ringtone. maybe there's a way in doing that. i already searched on the net and found one, but haven't try it yet.

haha enough about the phone-talk. this entry supposed to be about new year right? i ought to be talking about resolutions and such..

well, last working day last year, hehe i meant to say on 30th December 2010, 3 days ago, i was listening to the radio, IKIM channel. hehe even I listen to ikim at times, mostly on the way back from work because usually i go back around maghrib time. and i was saying, there is a slot for a tazkirah, a topic on new year celebration of course. this ustaz was saying, before we go off to listing our new year resolution, we first must do a postmortem of the year. go through our resolutions of the current year, defining whether we had achieved our goal(s) of the year, and if we failed, to find out what are the reasons for the failure(s). he said we should find out the reasons, but not excuses. excuses won't bring us anywhere. and after finding out the reasons, to think of solutions to work it out. and to execute. in order to work this out, we must stop BANGAU-ing.

what the heck is that, you ask?

oh see, there is this old folk song we Malays sing in our childhood, it goes like this:

bangau oh bangau, kenapa engkau kurus?

macam mana aku tak kurus, ikan tidak timbul.

ikan oh ikan, kenapa engkau tak timbul?

macam mana aku nak timbul, rumput panjang sangat.

rumput oh rumput, kenapa engkau panjang sangat?

macam mana aku tak panjang, lembu tak makan aku.

on and on it goes until,

ular oh ular, kenapa kau nak makan katak?

macam mana aku tak makan, memang makanan aku.

the song goes on and on since each character in the song gave excuses for whatever situation they were in. until the snake put a stop to it - it says it's hunting for the frog because it (the frog) is what it(the snake) eats..

the point is, stop making excuses every time you're stuck in some deep sh*t. try to move forward. if a great wall is stopping you, move around it, somehow look for a way to pass it through. seek help, whatever, just don't sit there like a lump of meat, defeated, composing heaps of excuses should anyone would ask. you could always turn around, go back to your starting point, perhaps think about things you've done wrong, ways to get around it, and start over. no one is rushing you. it's not just about the destination, but the journey itself is darn important. it is life.

talk about rushing things out, two weeks ago i had an emotional breakdown.

if you read my new year entry last year, you would probably remember how i was in blues thinking that i'm getting another year older and yet i am still alone. well, it's not happening that way this year. because i am no longer alone? nawww... wrong answer.

i met a guy, and he's wayyyy younger than me. and he expressed his interest in me. i was puzzled. dear God, is this the one you sent to me? there was no way to find out, except trying to get to know him. knowing that he's sooo much younger than me. then i accepted, OK, there is no way in hell He sent this boy for me. and i softly pushed him away.

then, a friend introduced me to her hubby's best friend. he is a nice guy. we got along quite well. then he expressed his love for me with 3 roses. in 1 week. dear God, i wasn't flattered, i was getting scared!! this guy is serious and i was still struggling to get to know him. i feel nothing for him. then one day (week 2) it struck me. i don't dislike this man, but i can't like him. all i've been doing is look at his good points and make myself believe he is a good man. but do i like him? no.. it gave me an emotional breakdown. i cried myself out, thinking, oh God, is this really for me? do i have to accept anyone who comes into my life who i can't reject? just because i am getting old and perhaps i won't be getting any other chances?? it was such a great blow for me, it was so unfair. the thought "I have to" really made me damn depressed. is it so impossible for me to meet someone i like and likes me back? really? because i'm old??

then i went to see my best friend bart. and as always, her words put me at ease. why should i force myself? why am i doing things i don't like? don't i believe in Him? i have right to make my own choices. so what if i choose wrong? i'm a human after all, of course i make mistakes. why should i be afraid of making mistakes? have faith in Him. maybe He has other agenda for me. i don't feel IT with him, so maybe he's not the one. why should i feel rushed? why should i feel like my age is chasing me? age is not stoppable. it will come as it pleases. just let it be. i will try to go with my own pace. not feeling rushed. enjoy the journey, enjoy the life.

i said this before, in my previous entry, there are many blank spaces in my life. but my journey is still long (unless He said otherwise). who knows what i will find along the way? i look forward to continuing my journey this year. welcome, 2011!! :)